Mason’s Not so Helpful Advice

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Mason McKenna, Staff Writer

How do I get my boyfriend to give me his favorite sweatshirt?

Wear him down with constant badgering. He will eventually break and give it to you. And yes, it does work, just ask my little sister.

 

A guy asked me if he can talk to me alone after school today. What should I do?

Bring a small army of friends for support. If things go wrong, you can always attack.

 

What does it mean if a guy gives you his sweatshirt to wear?

You were probably pestering him constantly and he just gave up. I told you it would work.

 

A guy introduced me to his parents, but we aren’t dating. What does that mean?

If it was just at some random event, you’re fine. If you were at his house, I’d be more concerned. Also, are you sure you’re not dating?

 

I know someone is going to ask me out but I’m on the fence about them. What should I do?

The best thing to do when you’re on the fence is flip a coin. When he asks you, tell him “I’m on the fence about you so I’m going to flip a coin. Heads is no, tails is yes.” That way, the decision is completely out of your hands.

 

Why don’t the guys I like ever like me? I’m great.

Believe it or not, people can be overly confident. One of the best ways to be noticed is be as shy as possible. If you are too outgoing, you’ll scare him off. It’s a lot like birdwatching.

 

I have a big crush on someone that I have three classes with and I want to get them to notice me. What should I do?

Do everything you can to get in his head. When you’re in class, stare at him until he looks at you, make eye contact, and then quickly look away. He’ll likely blow it off as nothing, but that’s okay. When you’re at home, text him about homework and anything else you can think of. Now he’ll start to think that you might like him. Do all this on a Friday, so he has the whole weekend to think about it. On Monday, chances are he will have convinced himself that he likes you and all you’ll have to do is ask him out. Simple, right?