Boomer Town


Gage Orr, Online Editor

“The baby boomers are the most spoiled, most self-centered, most narcissistic generation the country’s ever produced.” said political figure, Steve Bannon. 

Me, a good old productive boomer knows this absolutely incorrect quote is bs. The millenials and their phones or those darn genX-ers and their tattoos, are to blame. I have been, and always will be a good, hardworking American citizen. These younger generations have no clue what they are talking about. When I was a boy, I had to go uphill both ways, cross a river, wrestle an alligator, all in the middle of a snowstorm at the peak of summer, just to see the town my school was in. When I got there, there was no “you gotta be nice to everyone” or “teachers can’t discipline kids”. In fact, I had to have a fist fight with four of my other students to get through the door. The teacher would attack me with a sword if I acted up in class with none of that “warning” BS. Along with this, I worked eight days a week at a construction company, so don’t you ever talk about me being a “lazy and spoiled old man”, because I put my work in, son. Now maybe if you got off those darn videogames and those little funky pads, you could be just as successful as me. The only thing funky for me growing up was the 60s, and that was a damn good time. Although I’d never smoke that devil’s lettuce, that good LSD got me goin’. Now I’m gonna go take a nap on my recliner, but don’t forget to get off that phone and those violent video game thingy-mc-bobbers and go to sleep at 6pm after doing all of your homework so you can get your allotted 12 hours of sleep you darn ra… zzzzzzzzz-*violently coughs*.

Those little “chats” are so fun and really makes me think about how great I can be, and not how much of a “disappointment” I am. Of course, I’ve come to realize that it doesn’t matter what some old “boomer” thinks about me. The future is now old man; sorry you’re getting caught behind the social and technological advancements. This brand new world, unlike the destroyed one you were born into, doesn’t require whatever emotions were in the air at that time. We have jobs but working all the time won’t give us an ego, or as I like to call it, that “Boomer Clout.” This self-inflated ego of a Boomer, working all the time and thinking they deserve some recognition for something the average American does. Infact, the amount of hours Americans worked has only gone up. Present day, the average American works 2,080 hours per year. Statistically, work hours has also increased since the 1970s forward. Given that the boomers were born from late 40s to mid 50s, and the youngest that they could work would be the 60s, they actually worked less than Americans do now. 

At the end of the day, an ego cannot be cured. No matter what I say, I can’t change what they think; I’m apparently one of those phone-addicted, lazy, ungrateful little rascals.